To get the spark back in their marriage, Peter and Lois go on a second honeymoon, but end up spending all their money for the trip on fixing the car after an accident. Peter hears about a luxury hotel in New York where Mel Gibson has his own suite, so he impersonates Mel Gibson and he and Lois stay there. Peter finds the master copy of "Passion of the Christ II: Crucify This," and decides to take the movie so that no one will ever have to sit through it. Two priests chase Peter and Lois down, and kidnap Lois to Mel Gibson's house above Mt. Rushmore to convince Peter to return the movie. Peter comes to rescue Lois, and after they get shot at by Mel Gibson they realize that the spark is back in their marriage. In the meantime, Brian is left in charge of the kids at home, and with help from Stewie, gets Chris out of trouble when he is busted with alcohol at a school dance that was given to him by a fellow classmate who won't take the blame.

When Chris's English teacher wins the lotto and quits, Brian fills in as the substitute. Brian enjoys interacting with the intelligent kids, but then gets reassigned to remedial English, where all the kids are hopeless. Brian finds the only way to connect with this kids is to encourage them to strive for the bottom, which is higher than anyone ever urged them to go before. Chris's next teacher is the sultry Mrs. Lockhart. When Mrs. Lockhart realizes Chris has a crush on her, she tries to convince him to kill her husband for her, but when Chris can't go through with it, she gets a horny bear to do it instead. The Griffins actually believe that Chris committed the murder until he is exonerated on the news.

After Quagmire becomes a local hero when he saves a dying woman in a dressing room (when he was really just trying to molest her) Peter decides he wants to be remembered for something as well. He tries to break a Guinness record by eating more nickels than anyone has ever eaten, but he gets nickel poisoning and goes blind. Depressed about his blindness, he goes to his favorite bar for a drink, and doesn't realize that the bar is on fire. When he accidentally saves the bartender from the fire, he becomes a local hero, and also accidentally kills a local hobo who then donates his eyes giving Peter his sight back.

When Meg asks a cute boy at school on a date and he turns her down because she's ugly, her mom gets her a makeover at the mall that makes her the hottest thing in town. Not only does Meg get the guy, but when Peter and his friends have a successful karaoke night and decide to form a band, she ends up being the only thing that keeps the band going. As the Griffin family tours with their successful band, Meg's ego gets bigger and bigger, and her attitude gets worse and worse. Lois is worried, but Peter ignores it until Meg is taken advantage of by Jimmy Fallon for a Saturday Night Live skit. Peter beats up Jimmy Fallon, and Meg goes back to her old comfortable look.

Peter and Brian find out that Loretta is cheating on Cleveland with their neighbor, Quagmire, but Cleveland is oddly calm about it, which is one of the things that Loretta can no longer stand about him. Peter gets Cleveland worked up into a frenzy, until Cleveland goes after Quagmire with a baseball bat, but luckily, when he has Quagmire at his mercy, he doesn't actually hurt him. Peter tries to reunite Cleveland and his wife, but instead their marriage completely falls apart.

Peter takes a genius test, and qualifies as retarded. At first, he's embarassed, but then he realizes that it gives him free license to do almost any stupid thing he can think of. When he tries to take the fryolator from a fast food restaurant, Lois is severely burned from the resulting disaster, and ends up in the hospital. Social services takes Peter's kids away from him, and gives them to Cleveland to take care of. Peter hires seven prostitutes to make Cleveland look like a bad father, but his plan fails miserably. Luckily, Lois is suddenly cured, she gets the kids back, and they all live happily ever after.

When "The Bachelorette" comes to Quahog, they recruit Brian to be a contestant. He signs up for the free martinis and food, but ends up falling in love with the reality starlet, Brooke. Brian wins her heart — and the final rose — but when the cameras are turned off, this romance made in TV heaven takes a turn for the worse. Meanwhile, Chris gets a horrible case of acne.

Rating: 4.5/8

When Peter runs up a tab at the local pharmacy, the only way out of paying the bill is to sell Meg to the owner's son, Neil, who has been stalking her for months. But when Neil starts dating another girl, Meg becomes jealous and goes on the hunt to find a boyfriend of her own. Meanwhile, Stewie goes gaga over his hot new babysitter, Liddane.

Rating: 3.9/7

Lois turns into a kleptomaniac, and despite Brian's best efforts to save her, she is busted by her cop neighbor, Joe Swanson. Lois is put in jail for three years, and her family languishes in filth without her. Peter comes up with a plan to break out his wife, and the whole family ends up living as fugitives in Asiantown. Chris runs a rickshaw and Peter becomes a sumo wrestler, while Stewie works as child labor in a shoe factory. Joe tracks down the Griffins, and in a chase through the sewers of Asiantown, almost falls to his death. Lois saves Joe's life, so Joe works out a way for her not to have to go back to jail.

When the Griffins visit Lois's parents, Lois realizes that her father prevented her from fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming a model, so she returns to Quahog and hits the catwalk. Lois is an instant hit, and Peter is psyched that he's sleeping with a model, but when he realizes that Lois is becoming a public sex figure, he tells her she should re-think her career. She continues modeling with a vengeance, just to spite him, but when he finally tells her that she can do whatever she wants, she realizes she'd rather go back to her old unglamorous life. Stewie starts a pyramid scheme business and Brian, who has worms and doesn't have the money to pay for the medication, becomes his unwilling assistant.

Peter and James Woods (who lends his voice) become fast friends when Woods shows up in Quahog. He's in town because of a suggestion to rename James Woods High School after Martin Luther King Jr., a request from Meg's black history teacher, who's dating Brian. (Woods, incidentally, has no problem with the idea.) Principal Shepherd: Gary Cole. Mayor West: Adam West.

Rating: 5.4/8

Peter, while a terrible fisherman, does have a family to feed, so, along with Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire, he heads out to Pelican's Reef to catch some fish. Unfortunately, the fish aren't the only things jumping. The guys are blown away by Hurricane RuPaul and lost at sea for months on a deserted island. Months later, they are rescued, and Peter returns home to discover the new man of the house has a bark that's worse than his bite.

When Chris discovers he'll be hazed as part of a high school ritual, he runs away to South America, where he assimilates to the uncivilized, tribal culture. Meanwhile, Peter is forced to look for a job, but after several failed attempts he decides he's tired of starting at the bottom of the ladder. While Peter visits Chris in the South American jungle, tribal members treat him like a god, but both Peter and Chris learn that they can't run away from their problems forever. Guest voices: Carrie Fisher & Mia Maestro

After a controversial mishap occurs during a live broadcast, the FCC begins to censor all of Peter's favorite television shows. Peter retaliates by creating his own TV station — "PTV" — which he operates out of the Griffin home. Peter and Brian create some edgy hits for the station, until the FCC shows up and starts to regulate their everyday life.

This episode was nominated for an Emmy award for Outstanding Animated Program (for Programming Less Than One Hour).

After writing a story for a local magazine, Brian lands a job with the prestigious New Yorker. However, his college dropout status haunts him so he decides to go back to Brown University to get his degree. As Brian struggles to pass his class, Stewie enjoys the college lifestyle. Meanwhile, Peter and his friends combine forces to help the city (or so they think).

When Stewie intensifies his efforts to kill Lois, she thinks he is acting out and orders Peter to spend more time with him. Stewie bonds with Peter over torturing Lois, but when Stewie realizes that Peter isn't serious about killing her, he feels betrayed. Peter tries to make it up to Stewie by taking him to Disney World, but Stewie gets kidnapped by Disney and made part of the Small World ride. Peter rescues his son and the other slave children, and Stewie finally admits he loves his father. Chris knocks a baseball through the window of an elderly neighbor, Herbert, who has a creepy attraction to young boys. Chris has to do chores for Herbert to make up for breaking his window, and Herbert happily dreams of making a life and having a family with Chris.

When Lois drags Peter to the doctor for a physical, his prognosis is clear: he's too fat. This news drives Peter to form the NAAFP, an advocacy group for the advancement of fat people. Meanwhile, Lois discovers her long-lost brother, Patrick, and fights to get him released from an insane asylum. But a string of fat guys go missing soon after, and Peter and the NAAFP ban together to get to the bottom of it.

Rating: 5.8/8

When Peter's dad visits the Griffins, he tries to impose his religious beliefs on the family. But after a mishap leaves Stewie stuck living in a bubble, Peter searches for a new religion finding faith in his television hero the Fonz. But "Happy Days" are not quite here as the newly established Church of the Fonz struggles to retain its members.

Rating: 4.8/7

After an accident lands Brian in the hospital, he has a near-death experience that leads him to take a new lease on life. He finds a passion for singing and develops a new nightly gig with Frank Sinatra Jr., but his "live in the moment" lifestyle only goes so far. Meanwhile, Meg's sexuality swings the other way.

Rating: 5.1/7

At his high school reunion, Peter pretends to be a big-shot millionaire to impress his classmates, but the truth comes out when he meets Tom Brady and loses all self-control. Peter makes a drunken run for the bathroom that impresses Brady and lands Peter a spot on the New England Patriots football team. Life is great for the Griffins until Peter's new high profile goes to his head. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes a sports bookie.

When Peter goes on a television game show and wins a maid for a week, Quagmire becomes smitten with her and ends up popping the question. But when Quagmire's bachelor tendencies resurface, he takes some serious steps to get out of the marriage. Meanwhile, Stewie fights against breast-feeding withdrawals when Lois tries to wean him.

After a pregnancy scare, Peter reluctantly agrees to get a vasectomy. But after the operation, Peter's sex drive becomes nonexistent. When Lois packs on some extra pounds, Peter's interest is renewed and things heat back up in the bedroom until her unhealthy eating habits get the best of her. Meanwhile, Stewie's half-brother and archrival Beltram confronts him and they declare an all-out war for control over the playground.

Rating: 4.7/7

When Meg lands an internship with Mayor West, Brian argues that he's corrupt. Determined to expose his shady ways, Brian and Stewie go undercover and discover that Meg is in deeper than they thought. Meanwhile, a local talent show brings Peter and Lois back to their folk singing days. Unfortunately, they also revert back to their hippie ways and Chris must stage an intervention.

Rating: 4.8/7

Peter writes dirty novels and his father-in-law, Carter Pewterschmidt, decides to publish them---sort of. But then Carter's sued and loses everything, so he moves in with Peter and Lois, whereupon Peter tries to teach him to be a regular guy. When that doesn't work, they decide to go for the riches by any means necessary. Betty White has a voice cameo as herself.

Rating: 4.9/7

While visiting the Griffins, Brian's gay cousin Jasper announces he's engaged to his partner and wants to be married in their home. But when Mayor West bans gay marriage in Quahog to cover up an unrelated scandal, Brian becomes a crazed activist and resorts to hostile ways to change the mayor's decision. Meanwhile, Lois questions her view toward gay marriage and Chris joins the extremist "Young Republicans" group to win a girl's heart.

Rating: 4.8/7

After Joe builds a new home theater system, Peter tries to top it by building a multiplex in his backyard and discovers an Indian burial ground. But when he takes an Indian chief's skull, the house becomes haunted and Stewie pulls a "Carol Anne" and gets sucked into the television. Unfortunately for the Griffins, getting Stewie back from the poltergeist is just the beginning.

Rating: 5.0/8

When the Griffins get robbed, the family runs into Peter's panic room to escape the trespassers. Now isolated and trapped, Peter insists the family know about their ancestry and narrates a chain of events in world history that explain the Griffin name. Meanwhile, after Meg is chosen to go back into the house, she scares off the robbers in an unexpected way.

Rating: 4.7/7

Season finale, part 1

A near-death experience turns Stewie into a nicer person.

Season finale, part 2

Stewie and Brian head for California to search for the man Stewie's convinced is his real father.

Season finale, part 3

Stewie travels 35 years into the future, and doesn't like what he finds: his adult self.