Quotes from Peter Griffin: Husband, Father...Brother?

Peter: That's my son out there. I taught him how to wipe.
Kid: Why won't you teach me how to wipe, dad?
Dad: Because you don't have a bottom, son.

Chris: What's a library, dad?
Peter: Oh, it's just a place where homeless people come to shave and go BM.

Peter: Holy crap, I'm black!

Peter: I got no idea how to be black... y'know, except for not smiling when I get my picture taken.

Peter: Hey, from down there does it look like I'm talking into a bunch of robots' penises?

Black man: So, it's agreed, we'll keep on pretending to like pigs' feet simply to confound the white man.

Peter: It doesn't matter if you're black or white. The only color that really matters is green.

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