Quotes from Screwed the Pooch
Chris: Monkeys throw their poo!
Stewie: I am going to kick your ass.
Brian: Sorry, uh, I thought I smelled... cookies.
Mrs. Pewterschmidt: Would you like a piece of candy?
Stewie: I smell death on you.
Peter: Hey, where the hell is that Peter Griffin? He said he'd give me a hundred dollars if I took off all my clothes off.
Mr. Pewterschmidt: I'd rather be stuck in an elevator with Nathan Lane, Gilbert Godfrey, Carrot Top... uh... Sean Hayes. Well, you get the picture.
Michael Eisner: I gotta be at Disneyland before it opens. We're ethnically cleansing the Small World ride.
Peter: Hey, anybody got a quarter?
Bill Gates: What's a quarter?
Ed's Motel: as seen on America's Most Wanted
Peter: If I was half the parent Brian is, I'd know that Chris's favorite ice cream is...
Brian: Chocolate chip.
Peter: And Stewie's favorite bed-time story is...
Brian: Goodnight Moon.
Peter: And Meg's real father's name is...
Brian: Stan Thompson.
Peter: You know what's funny? I always thought that dogs laid eggs, and I learned something today.
Back to episode info