Quotes from And the Wiener Is...

Stewie: Good shot! Make my brown eye blue with that one.

Peter: First one to the marker where that Pakistani girl fell through the ice after coming to the States to get treatment for her severely burned face which she got when the man she refused to marry dumped sulphuric acid on her wins. I win!

Meg: I'm here to try out for cheerleading.
Cheerleader: Peter Rabbit would be wise to stay out of Mr. MacGregor's garden.

Meg: Everybody! Guess what I am?
Stewie: Hm, the end result of a drunken back-seat grope-fest and a broken prophylactic?

Peter: Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung."
Lois: Why?
Peter: Time is a factor, Lois.

Brian: Chris, you might finally beat your old man.
Peter: What do you mean, "old man?" I'm a white Larry Byrd.

Lois: No wonder he's always slouching.

Lois: I'm like one of those bald eagles you see on the Discovery Channel: beautiful to look at, but mess with one of my chicks and I'll use my razor-sharp talons to rip your *bing* eyes out.

Gun advocate: Guns don't kill people, dangerous minorities do.

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