Quotes from Brian Does Hollywood

Stewie: Easy! Massage the scalp. You're washing a baby's hair, not scrubbing vomit off your Christmas dress, you holiday drunk.

Brian: Hey, I need more cheese puffs, Manny. It looks like Oprah's off the wagon again. And skip the toothpicks, she'll just hurt herself.

Brian: There's a woodpecker on your head.
Keanu Reeves: Yeah, he comes and goes.

Peter: Did you hear that, Lois? We're goin' to Hollywood, where the people are sexy and clever and they always say somethin' funny right before the commercial break.

Brian: Hey, you know what might be a thrill for you guys?
Chris: Ooh, ooh, eating a pebble!

Crew guy: Hey, can someone fluff Paul? He's got, like, a windsock thing going on.

Brian: I've been around, I've licked my share of peanut butter.

Producer: It's kinda like "Bang the Drum Slowly," except the drum's a chick.

Stewie: Does anyone else smell Astroglide?

Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up."

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