Quotes from Ready, Willing and Disabled

Cleveland: Here's to Joe, who helped little Paul get a new liver and, barring a massive infection, a new lease on life.

Peter: You don't have to quit the force. I mean, you could get a desk job. Eh? You could be a desk.

Tom: You'll cheer, you'll cry, you might even get a cheap laugh or two.
Diane: I know I will, Tom. In fact, there's a distinct possibility that by the end of the day we'll all be going to hell.
Tom: I'll see you there, Diane.

Peter: I demand commercial endorsement and a TV movie based on me starring Valerie Bertandernie.

Peter: Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house you have to clean it.

Joe: I'm Joe, your waiter. Today's special is justice served cold with a side of jail. And order the soufflé now 'cause it takes ten to fifteen years.

Back to episode info