Quotes from Wasted Talent

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Lois: Have you been drinking?
Peter: Why, yes, I have. Thank you.

Peter: Lois, everyone has their sanctuary. The Catholics have churches, fat people have Wisconsin, and I have the Pawtucket Brewery.

Lois: You're drunk again.
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.

Cleveland: He's tasting victory. I bet it tastes good, like salt-water taffy or a Chunky.

Peter: Beer that never goes flat. Do you know what that means, Brian? This beer will still be carbonated long after you die of old age and we buy another dog to help the kids... y'know, forget about you.

Peter: Ah, silent but lifesaving.

Peter: Why did all the dinosaurs die out?
Museum tour guide: Because you touch yourself at night.

Peter: The lesson here is that abusing alcohol has absolutely no negative consequences. You have your trophy and my brain cells are just fine.

[The Chumba Wumbas sing to Joe in his wheelchair]

Chumba wumba, gobbeldy goo
Life isn't fair, it's sad but it's true
Chumba wumba, gobbeldy ghee
When your poor legs are stiff as a tree

What do you do when you're stuck in a chair?
Finding it hard to go up and down stairs?
What do you think of the one you call God?
Isn't His absence slightly odd?
Maybe he's forgotten you.

Chumba wumba, gobbeldy gorse
Count yourself lucky you're not a horse
They would turn you into dog food
or to chumba wumba gobbeldy glue

[Pawtucket Pat's Song]

Take a drink
And you'll sink
To a state of pure inebriation
You'll be tanked
Like the whole Irish nation
When you drink enough of my beer
You will find this magic gruel
Make your vever joke a jewel
You'll drive drunker than Oksana Baiul
Go on, buds
Drunk my suds
'Til you've reached that pure inebriation
Though the beer may be free
You're just renting it from me

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