Quotes from Holy Crap

"Quahog Mariners Banquet Hall: Now Free of That Urine Smell"

"Kids, your grandfather's ears are not gross and they are certainly not an enchanted forest." -Lois

"You're a good woman, Lois. Perhaps you won't burn in hell after all. Maybe you'll just go to purgatory with all the unbaptized babies." -Grandpa Griffin
"There you go, Lois, you love kids." -Peter

"You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence... gotta get me some of that." -Stewie

"Where would he go?" -Lois
"I don't know. I just asked him to buy me some peanuts and Crackerjacks." -Peter
"I don't care if he ever gets back. I wasn't being cute, I really hope he's dead." -Brian

"My, my, what a thumping good read. Lions eating Christians, people nailing each other to two-by-fours. I say, won't find that in 'Winnie the Pooh!'" -Stewie reading the Bible

"Hey, what are you doing here?" -Peter
"I killed a hooker. She made a crack about me being faster than a speeding bullet so I ripped her in half like a phonebook." -Superman

"I love God, he's so deliciously evil!" -Stewie

"Dad, to be honest, I don't like you either. Aw, jeez, that's a terrible thing to say. I guess I am going to hell, huh." -Peter
"Peter, the good lord said to honor thy father. He never said anything about liking him." -the Pope

Back to episode info