Quotes from The Story on Page 1

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Brian: "Ah, the old alma mater. I tell you, there's something magical about Brown. Chris: "Brown is the color of poo. Ha ha ha!"
Brian: "Yes. Yes it is."
Lois: "Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different."
Stewie: "Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankels behind your ears that would ring a few bells."

Lois: "My days in college were so exciting. This one time, the national guard came and shot some of my friends."

Co-ed: "Are you in a fraternity, little boy?"
Stewie: "Not yet, but I'm think of joining I Felta Thigh."

Brian: "If I remember correctly, this is the physics department."
Chris: "That explains all the gravity."

Meg: "I've wanted to go to Brown ever since I was a little girl. Well, actually, I really wanted to go to Wellesley, but my mom said I might as well put on my hiking boots and call myself a lesbian right now."
Lois: "Meg, eat your salad."
Meg: "I'm not eating dinner."
Lois: "Then just be quiet."

Meg: "Excuse me, Mayor West?"
Adam West: "How do you know my language?"

Stewie: "If I could build a device to harness the size of that leviathan, there'd be no limit to what I... Oh my God, there's an orgy in my mouth!"

Peter: "You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened."
Brian: "Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie."

Peter: "Gays don't vomit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they first came to this country from France."

Peter: "See, Meg, things always work out if you just do whatever you want without thinking about the consequences."

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