Quotes from E. Peterbus Unum

Peter: "Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out.

Miss Stratford: You smell nice.
Peter: What? Oh, that must be you.
Miss Stratford: No, it couldn't be me. I just farted.

Stewie: I say, if you find a human skeleton with a Lincoln Log jammed in the temple, I didn't do it. But I need that log back to finish my recreation of James Madison's cabin.

Adam West:I love this job more than I love taffy... and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.

Peter: I'm stuck up here in the nosebleeds. I'm president of Petoria, I want a better seat.
Head of U.N.: Oh, of course, how could we not have recognized the great nation of Petoria? Have a seat up front.
Peter: Well, that's more like it.
Head of U.N.: And, hey, would you also like a special satellite that can scratch your ass with a laser beam from space?
Peter: They have those?

Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh,that's a good army.

Peter to Brian: Can I tie you to a stick and use you as a white flag?

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