Written by Chris Sheridan, Directed by Monte Young

Starring Seth MacFarlane, Alex Borstein, Seth Green, Mila Kunis

Also starring Carolos Alazraqui, Candice Bergen, Faith Ford, Mike Henry, Phil LaMarr, Rachael MacFarlane, Danny Smith, Jennifer Tilly, Patrick Warburton

Announcer: "Pawtucket Patriot beer. If you buy it, hot women will have sex in your backyard."

Lois: "You gave up a boat for free tickets to a crappy comedy club!"
Peter: "Come one, Lois, you're acting like this is the first time I ever did something stupid."

Peter: "You know, if I weren't so sure you're a lesbian I'd say you're coming on to me."

Chris: "Oh my God, dad's a chick!"

Stewie: "Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster."

Peter: "Lois, less talkie more fetchie."
Lois: "I'm just gonna assume that's Chinese for 'I love you.'"