Written by Chris Sheridan, Directed by Jeff Myers

Starring Seth MacFarlane, Alex Borstein, Seth Green

Also starring Lori Alan, Fairuza Balk, Bill Escudier, Gregory Jbara, Robin Leach, Racheal MacFarlane, Kevin Michael Richardson, Alex Thomas

"I say, Mother, this hot dog has been on my plate for a full minute and it hasn't yet cut itself." -Stewie
"Honey, I'll be right there." -Lois
"Oh, by all means, take your time. Oh, and when you do finally get around to it, I'll be the one covered in flies with a belly that protrudes half-way to bloody Boston!" -Stewie

"Marguerite is a shining example of how people with a lot of money are just way better than everyone else." -Robin Leach

"Diamonds: She'll pretty much have to." -advertisement

"Brian, teach me how to be a gentleman." -Peter
"Well, Peter, it's not really that hard. Let's start with polite conversation. For example, it's a pleasure to see you again. Lovely weather we're having. Now you try." -Brian
"It's a pleasure to see you again. After 'Hogan's Heroes,' Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having a rough sex. How's that?" -Peter
"Wow. Perfect. My work is done." -Brian

"Lois, please, I'm just a dog. A stupid dog. Vodka stinger with a whiskey back... and step on it." -Brian

"Your aunt Marguerite is probably laughing at me while she's burning in hell, may she rest in peace." -Peter

"It doesn't matter if your family doesn't think I'm good enough for you." -Peter
"That's right, because all that's important is that I love you." -Lois
"No, because your ancestors were nothing but a bunch of pimps and whores." -Peter